Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Betrayal at home

After two long tours he was finally going to be home. As much as he couldn’t wait to leave when he graduated high school, he was eager now to get back. When the train came to a stop he put his hat on, threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and with a deep breath walked to the door. The crowd outside jumped and cheered when they saw him emerge on the platform. He stepped off the train, walked into the crowd and was instantly surrounded by family and friends. People were offering handshakes and hugs while others just cried with tears of joy that he was home safe. Even those at the station who didn’t know him were taken by the power of emotion at the event.

His girlfriend jumped to him, wrapping her arms and legs around his body and squeezing him as if she would never let him go again. He kissed her and the spectators cheers became even louder.

This is what makes it all with it, he thought to himself. People like this are who we're fighting for.

After the roaring crowd died down he stood tall with pride and thanked everyone in the town for the amazing welcome. It was moments like these that made him forget about all the things he had been through. It reminded him there is still good in the world.

He climbed into a car with his girlfriend and again everyone cheered for him as they drove off together. When they got back to her house he tossed his bag in the corner and kissed her again. He dreamt of this moment so many times. Played it out over and over in his head. Finally he held the woman he loved in his arms again.

He looked at her with love in his eyes, reached into the pocket of his uniform, and ran his fingers over the ring he had been carrying for over six months. “I have something important to ask you,” he said nervously.

“What is that?” she asked in a flirty voice with her arms still around his neck.

“I…I...” Stuttering with even more nervousness he paused.

She giggled and said, “What is it baby?”

As he started to speak again he was interrupted by the ringing of the phone. Half relieved and half annoyed he reached over and answered it. “Hello?”

When he heard the other person’s voice he immediately knew who it was and spoke again without giving his friend a chance to say anything. “Tommy,” he said excitedly, “where the hell were you when I got off the train?”

As soon as she found out who it was on the other end of the phone her face became cold and concerned.

“Wait! Stop! You did what?!” he yelled.

She backed away from him and started to cry.

“But you’re my best friend, and she’s my girl. I can’t believe this.” He slammed the phone down and looked at her, this time with betrayal and pain in his eyes. “I loved you,” he said to her. “I went through hell over there, and the whole time you were doing that?!” He picked up his things and walked to the door. Before leaving he turned to her one last time, looked her in the eyes and said, “How cheap can you be?”

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Above is another trifecta writing challenge.  This week's word is 'cheap'.  As always we are using the third definition of the word.

15 comments:

  1. Ooooooh! That was b-a-d, wasn't quite sure where this was going until the "You did what?" Nicely done.

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    1. Thank you. I tried to keep it unpredictable and give it a bit of a twist.

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  2. great response to the prompt, evocative storytelling, and great tension too!

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    1. Jenna, thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.

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  3. Tommy's is SUCH a jerk to call though when she is right there and the guy JUST got home - NICELY written story though!!

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    1. You're right, Tommy is a jerk, for more reason than one. Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. Love the story...dislike Tommy!

    What a great friend. The enemies he fought during his 2 tours were kinder than Tommy. Thank goodness he didn't give her the ring yet. She probably would have pawned it to finance a trip to the Bahamas with Tommy.

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    1. Interesting point. That does sound like something she would do. Some people only think about themselves.

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  5. Nice, Chris. Well-written and easy to read. I could feel his frustration and disappointment. Good work!

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    1. Thank you. I don't know if there is anyone that wouldn't feel for someone in his situation.

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  6. Boo! That girl's a coward.

    Fun to read.

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    1. I think most would probably agree with that.

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  7. Well...at least Tommy was honest about it. Not nice people. Not nice to him at all.

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    1. I'll give you that, he did own up to it because of his own conscience.

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  8. Thanks for linking up this week. We're getting lots of stories about cheating spouses and partners. Yours added the twist of the service, which makes your protagonist a hero. Which REALLY makes the cheating, well, cheap. Nice job. Hope to see you back again soon.

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