Friday, April 27, 2012

The Shooting

This weekends trifecta challenge is to create a scene that involves three people and tell it from the perspective of each character using only 33 words for per person.

The following is my entry.

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“POLICE! DON’T MOVE!” he hears from down the hall. Then, two shots ring out. He runs as fast as he can. He sees his partner shaking. The suspect down, with gun in hand.

“POLICE! DON’T MOVE!” he hears from behind him. He turns to see only one cop. Taking his chances he lunges at the officer. He pulls out his own weapon. Then, everything goes black.

“POLICE! DON’T MOVE!” he yells as loud as he can. The suspect grins and violently jumps at him. He saw the suspect pull it out. He stepped back and instinctively reacted. He shot!

13 comments:

  1. I can see all of them play out. great job!

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    1. Thank you. I'm glad I was able to paint a clear picture. It is tough in so few words.

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  2. Replies
    1. Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.

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  3. So much action, all in the blink of an eye!

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    1. A situation like that happens so quickly.

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  4. I like that you started with the same three words. It well exemplifies that these three scenarios are happening at the EXACT same time.

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    1. It is the one constant between the three perspectives. After those words are yelled, or heard, the situation effects each character very differently.

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  5. Agreeing with ODNT, the symmetry heightens the feel of immediacy. Nice tension and pacing in such a short piece.
    Thanks for participating. Come back and see us for the weekday prompt.

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  6. The partner who wasn't right there must have felt sick to his stomach when he realized how close it came.

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    1. True. In my head they separated intentionally, but you always feel the worst about the things you can't control. Very nice read of unstated emotions. I like it.

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  8. Wow. There was a real immediacy to this. Curious how the suspect grins, according to the cop who shot him. Wonder if he actually grimaced ...

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